Plain in the city

A plain Quaker folk singer with a Juris Doctorate in his back pocket, salt in his blood, and a set of currach oars in the closet, Ulleann Pipes under his arm, guitar on his back, Anglo Irish baggage, wandering through New York City ... in constant amaze. Statement of Faithfulness. As a member of the Quaker Bloggers Ad Hoc Committee I affirm that I will be faithful to the Book of Discipline of my Meeting 15th Street Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Amanda's Transportation Survival Suit

A few notes, on the back of an envelope... the suit is made of steel, and is riveted. Note that on top of the Quaker Bonnet shaped helmet, ( tinted aviation grade plexiglass visor ) there is a classic beanie copter prop, this provides electric power, and turns a small fan inside the helmet to cool the suit. The main power is the distillery tank on the back... one puts potato skins inside it, and they are distilled into a vodka like fuel, which powers the jet engine, which runs the main drive fan\prop behind. On top of the helmet, there is also a rear view periscope, which can also face forward, and be used with the snorkel if one runs into a deep water hazard... there is also the red flashing safety light attached to the snorkel as well as the loud speaker and siren. For giving coins to poor folks, there is a re-tooled slot machine, which dispenses coins when you pull the lever, it is also handy for tolls on the highway. As thy bike is no more, I thought, well, self contained... wheels on the suit, to save the extra cost of the bike. I would not advise speeds over 275 mph on the streets of Cambridge, as that might attract attention, and some trouble stopping, as there aren't any breaks. I thought breaks might be dangerous, as a sudden stop might be, well, .... dramatic? So, my theory is that when a stop is needed, grab a street sign, and put the rudder over hard, and spin around until inertia is expended.
I also think, with the jet power to the drive fan, it is likely, by bending slightly backwards, you can become airborne for long enough to hop over most obstacles, like..., well..., medium sized buildings, or small rivers.
Must run, the forge is nearly hot enough to start... hope to finish oh... around the day some call Christmas... try to be careful in the meantime and keep getting better...
IMG_2224_1

7 Comments:

At 8:18 AM, Blogger Lorcan said...

Also note the compressed air car horns on the side of the helmet...

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger Lorcan said...

well, not really car horns, they are off a 18 wheel truck... they have a bit more umph...

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Paula said...

but does it come in black?

Paula

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger Lorcan said...

Amish, Black, Quaker blue-grey, Mennonite calico, and zebra stripe with leopard patern boots for fancy.
:)

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger Lorcan said...

Alternate Bike Safety Idea...

To make a bike safer, 1. increase stability, add another wheel in back, 2. bucket seat with back to protect head, add round steering wheel, 3. add two headlights, add second front wheel to support the headlights, 4. add steel cage over driver, 4. to support cage add wide steel undercarriage 5. in order to offset the weight of the steel undercarriage add electric motor and car battery 6. With more power set wheels farther apart and add another seat, so that there is a co-pilot to keep the driver awake on long drives, 7. add wider wheels to support the extra weight, 8. add a steel shell to protect the passengers 9. move the electric engine forward and place a gasoline engine behind it as the bike is now underpowered, use the electric motor as a starter for the gas engine. 10, add glass windows to protect the riders from weather and add drum breaks, 11. add tail lights and turning signals and mirrors... 12. seat belts... and Bob'syeruncle... a safer bicycle! Easy!!!

 
At 3:43 PM, Blogger Nancy A said...

What's with the thumb? Is this Friend hitch-hiking? Or testing the wind speed? Indicating a yes vote to end the Iraq occupation? Or hailing the waiter for another beer?

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger Lorcan said...

The stretched out arm with the thumbs up position... ah yes, the engine on, clutch not engaged position. One then points the index finger forward to engage the clutch and go, slightly up to go faster, slightly down to go slower... so that the hand is ready to grip a passing street sign to spin to a stop...

 

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