Easter... without much forethought...

God's love in Jesus' suffering.

Oh how hard to understand.

I am not thy common Christian, perhaps, in that I am not sure that...
no I am convinced that Jesus was not his only begotten son, but there is that of God in each of us... each of us.
That when God teaches through the weak and fallible flesh of we humans, that is Christ... God as Christ the teacher...

Easter... who is risen. Who was on the beach several days latter to feed the apostles who were fishing? A stranger who feeding them was Christ. God... teaching lived on, though Jesus, in his flesh died on that horrible cross... God continues to teach in the flawed flesh of we poor humans.

Redemption in suffering?

Jesus broke and cried out, " My lord... why have you forsaken me?"

Oh, how I have asked that, and by what trials have I the right to ask? Who can imagine Judea in bondage to Rome.

I have seen Ireland, in bondage to England. I have seen the blood and the bone, the fire and the pain, and yet... one thousand people slaughtered in cold blood by Pilate?

And all our petty, petty disappointments in love and loss and pain and fear... and yet, to be nailed to wood for the rest of thy consciousness... and to only ask why have you forsaken me?

Oh, God, I have seen enough death that I should be able to imagine Judea in bondage, but no. ... no, that nation that should have been a nation of spirit and light, under the cold machine of Rome... here I am living in Rome... I have lived in lands under Rome, but I had a ticket back to the ... well... back to Rome.

Jesus died on the cross... what an eternity of suffering. Then, he, Jesus the man was dead, and the disciples where fed on the beach as they fished, by one they did not recognize, they who knew the Rabbi so well, then they new, Christ had fed them, God teaching through the flesh of weak humanity, and it was Christ, maybe not Jesus the man, but that Christ that was the God in Jesus, and the God in us all...

Christ arose... but he had risen, God taught, long before the Rabbi Jesus. God taught in Hill el, God taught in the sometimes weak flesh of David, of Salomon, of all the gentle souls and all the Moses' who wished to pass the fire to another...

Oh my God don't use me, give me what I want, Oh God use me and teach me the humility not to want, Oh God... don't let me forsake YOU! Oh my God... why nail him to a tree?

Oh God.

Why and why not and is there no other way? and Oh my God.