A note on Violence, and to Pam and Nat

I was hurrying out to a meeting, but thy posts were too important.

As I said in my response in the comments, I apologize, especially as I can't answer completely on line.

My comment, on Joe (Beppeblog's) blog. Was in answer to Joe saying that his exclusion of me, and dropping me from a community he controls was not a violent act. Joe used as an example an example of anti-gay violence against him.

I replied something to the effect that his actions were violent, and the degree to which it my attempts to find support among Friends in my seeking clearness have turned the issue around... felt like a rape.

Dear friends, women are not the only ones who have experienced sexual abuse and violence. My point, which I wrote in more depth to Joe, is that as a victim of sexual violence as a child, I can tell thee, it has created challenges for my entire life.

I have a lot of trouble dealing with folks who play the whole Alpha male thing, the " I'm the boss syndrome", which we do find, even in Quaker meetings. This is why, I have been so intent on us not loosing our tradition of clearness, because without it, the aggressive, those who act without care of others, who refuse to talk, dominate meetings... or the Internet.

It was a terrible reference, especially as I can't go into intimate detail here. But, rape is about being separated from a sense of comfort in society, on one level, for life, and has altered my life in terrible ways. It is about a violence of separation that lasts long after the pain of the assault.

I never did call Martin a rapist, nor would I think of doing so. I was saying that Quakerism without loving process pushes the gentle people out... and Friend Kelly might consider that.