URBAN LEGEND # 892

Is it true during a Quaker meeting for worship with a concern for business, the clerk's head exploded once?




Le maifest d' Jean Maynard
A translation of a Quebecois canoe song

Tune Zigulon, words Lorcan Otway, Amanda Gareis and Eugenie Gilmore

Second First Day's come again, the worshipful time when
We Quakers all sit down
and pass the thoughts around
to show we're all profound
on solid Quaker ground

Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block another's way
everybody has their say
While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away just past mid day

A young Quaker near the door, said why don't we feed the poor?
and with a smile sat down


Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block another's way
everybody has their say
A Friend near the door
Suggests we feed the poor
While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away, an hour past mid day

An older Friend arose, and dusted off his clothes
taking off his hat
Said, with so many poor in need
who are we going to feed?


Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block other's way
everybody has their say
A Friend near the door
Suggests we feed the poor
with so many poor in need
who are we going to feed?
While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away two hours past mid day

Another Friend agreed
with so many poor to feed
when we mean so well,
We could give the poor some soup
cause soup is so easy to scoop


Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block another's way
everybody has their say
A Friend near the door
Suggests we feed the poor
with so many poor in need
who are we going to feed?
We may give the poor some soup
cause its so easy to scoop
While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away, three hours past mid day

A weighty Friend began, to speak and pound his hand
in an enlightened way
They'll eat in the name of Christ
And wouldn't that be nice?


Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block another's way
everybody has their say
A Friend near the door
Suggests we feed the poor
with so many poor in need
who are we going to feed?
We may give the poor some soup
cause its so easy to scoop
feeding in the name of Christ
some Friends think it would be nice
While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away, four hours past mid day

A Quaker rolled her eyes, and looking towards the skies
cried Jesus Christ again!
It's enough the poor will eat
next you'll have us washing feet!


Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block another's way
everybody has their say
A Friend near the door
Suggests we feed the poor
with so many poor in need
who are we going to feed?
We may give the poor some soup
its so easy to scoop
feeding in the name of Christ
some Friends think it would be nice
It's enough the poor will eat
We need not wash their feet
While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away, five hours past mid day

This minute's not quite right! I don't want to start a fight
but I am led to say
it's no committee its a group
and a group can't dole out soup
we need a clerk and all
a committee or we'll fall
into ranter anarchy
and that's not the way to be


Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block other's way
everybody has their say
A Friend near the door
Suggests we feed the poor
with so many poor in need
who are we going to feed?
We may give the poor some soup
soup is so easy to scoop
feeding in the name of Christ
some Friends believe it would be nice
It's enough the poor will eat
We need not wash their feet
a committee not a group
a group can't dole out soup
a committee we will name
though the membership's the same
While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away, six hours past mid day

A lawyer rose to say, we can't do this anyway
It's just a matter of risk
what are we going to do?
If we poison them they'll sue
said a Friendly helpful guy
we can feed the poor some pie
and yet still the poor may die
if they choke on Quaker pie!
The only way to solve this mess
let the poor to starve I guess
then it wont be Friendly chow
that will kill them anyhow
and if the poor complain
they must really bear the blame
I don't want to seem to hate
But I wont facilitate
Until an open way
the poor will wait another day
the poor will always be
and I must take care of me


Let's minute it this way
On Business Meeting Day

we're all on solid ground
and being so profound
never block another's way
everybody has their say
We feel for the poor
A way will open we are sure

While the clock ticked away, ticked away, ticked away
the clock ticked away, till the end of day

The Soup Kitchen's going strong
As we finish up this song
in that old Quaker way
Back bencher's made some stew
in a borrowed pot or two
and Now all the Quakes
smile take hand shakes
for being very good
and doing all they should
And are feeling very grand
for the poor are well in hand

And the minute it will say will say
The meeting found a way
and the clock will tick away tick away tick away
the clock will tick away till the end of day

This post is dedicated to the last called business meeting, which dealt with really tough concerns, and all went very well... and the clerk's head really did NOT explode.