Disappointment

I really am in a state of disappointment. I have written about my disappointment in me, at length... so here is the other side of my disappointment...


My hope for our faith as a beacon of light has been shaken to its core by so many things, so many...


First, that two so well meaning Friends cannot come to clearness... if we cannot, what hope is there that those who lead nations into war, business into economic oppression and pillage, may be brought to understand and join in unity with those they destroy. If there is no way, no hope among Friends, what are we doing but pretending in the face of a doomed humanity. Are we living a lie in our faith when we speak of the paths of peace we follow? It is a desperate form of sadness to lose that earliest of my hopes and beliefs. To loose that hope and belief that sustained me as I witnessed so much pain from war and want.



I am disappointed in Friends who do not seem to understand the difference between name calling and laboring together for truth, and the difference between tale bearing and ministry to each other... We Friends do not use words like liar, derelict, thief, rather we know, firstly, that people are not what they do, or what is done to them. Further, we know that the evidence of our own eyes, is still only half the story. We don't believe what another has said, we have seen otherwise. Go see Rashamon. Perspective is everything. This is why Friends enter into clearness, and quickly, instead of allowing others to bear false impressions of events that they witness and believe they understand.



The painful process of tale bearing has driven me even deeper into isolation than I thought possible. Without clearness, the only answer is exile, as I am not going to do as others do, and answer tales with tales. Great harm is done to the truth by such behavior, and hope dies, and this light wanes in the souls of Friends. We loose the spirit of unity and inner, great inner violence is done to our journey together.