Ryan... & Quacarol continued...

More on Ryan's question, and also Quacarol's quesiton, what is Quaker process...

I am fond of quoting the Elders of Balbay, as is Richard, who kindly posted their advices on his blog...

15.That all Friends that have callings and trades, do labour in the thing that is good, in faithfulness and uprightness, and keep to their yea and nay in all their communications: and that all who are indebted to the world, endeavour to discharge the same, that nothing they may owe to any man but love one to another.

16.-That no-one speak evil of another, neither judge one against another; but rather judge this, that none put a stumbling-block or occasion to fall in his brother's way.

17.-That none be busy bodies in others' matters, but each one to bear another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ; that they be sincere and without offence, and that all things that are honest, be done without murmuring, and disputing, that you may be blameless and harmless. the sons of God without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, amongst whom they may shine as lights in the world.

So... keep your yea and nay ... don't promise until you know your mind... know yourself... promises really do mean things in other people's lives, especially the big promises, life changing promises... but also the end of that 15th advise is more than keep your own promises... it is, I think, don't hold another indepted to a promise... there is nothing more distructive than saying "you said you would... " It is the fear of this phrase that causes resentment... expect from each other, desire from each other, only love.

Advise 16... oh those stumbling blocks... anger, gossip, cliques... all those inner weapons we see so often in our meetings...

Advise 17... bear another's burdens... here we are in a truly perverse nation that allows a person to go sick, hungry, lonely in a land that judges success by how much you get for yourself, not how much you help others... we Friends are meant to be an island of hope in this perverse world. When a Friend notices another, ill, for example, and poor, it is an obligation to get that person medical help, and when we do that, we build a strong enough community to help beyond ourselves more and more... Often Friends are so busy with the greater world ... we seem to overlook each other's needs...
Be there for each other, because what goes around comes around, to paraphrase Hill el...